It's a very long story but it had an ending, and a happy one 😊 A story that lasted almost 10 years, an identity of "pimple-prone", which is not easy to break away from. Even today, every morning I inspect myself in the mirror to see if there were any unexpected breakouts during the night. I still sometimes have old reflexes during the day where I tell myself that I can't touch my face for fear of infecting my skin. In short, acne has been part of me...
It is important to remember that the skin is the mirror of the soul, the reflection of our deep self… Which sometimes takes a little time before finding its way, appeasement and serenity. I thank my skin for speaking to me, for pushing me to my limits and for allowing me to be the person I am today.
My acne started at 14-15 years old, normal during puberty. But it then got worse between grades 1era and terminal. I felt very bad about myself. The spots were numerous, painful and spread all over my face. At that time, I would have loved to be able to hide behind a mask! Instead, I fell back on concealers with which I tried as best I could to camouflage all this redness… At that time, the dermatologist agreed that Roaccutane would be the most suitable solution. I started taking the pill, I had blood tests every month to check that I was not pregnant… But apart from these constraints, I was coping quite well with the treatment, I had no notable side effects. My skin improved quickly, there is nothing to say, Roaccutane is certainly really harmful to our body, but it works miracles… I took it for about a year I would say. But the acne came back 6 months later after stopping… To tell the truth, I didn't believe it, it was too good to be true.
"To tell you the truth, I didn't believe it,
It was too good to be true."
In the meantime, I leave home for my studies, in preparatory class more precisely. The family doctor suggests that I start antibiotics, and I accept. I take my antibiotics continuously for about a year. I don't ask myself if my body is bad, I don't want any more spots, I want to be at peace. I face a lot of stress during these 2 years of preparatory class, it's a relief to see that the medication is working.
Then I arrived at business school, the first year was quite zen, my skin was doing well and I even think I stopped taking antibiotics. Then came my first internship, and the acne came back little by little… I remember myself at the start of the school year in September hiding my face with my hair. I was living hell. I spent hours massaging my face in the evening with all sorts of products, I even invested in a small machine that allows you to clean your skin in depth (Lucas Championnière sprayer)… During the 2th year of business school, I think my skin is calming down again, until the next internship I would say!
And then I go to Berlin for a semester abroad, I decide to go see a dermatologist there to get another opinion. She tells me about the link she managed to make between the increase in the consumption of dairy products, chocolate, and that of acne in young adults. It is true that at that time I do not necessarily pay attention to my diet. I do eat a lot of yogurts, cheese (and not necessarily good quality), industrial cakes, chocolate… But my acne is stable and much less annoying than before. I feel good in Berlin, I spend one of the best moments of my student life there. The return to France is complicated, I do not want to go back, I have to find an end-of-studies internship and I question myself a lot about my professional life choices. Will I last over time? Do I really like it, etc.?
I then did my final internship in a natural and organic cosmetics laboratory. I was delighted and I really enjoyed this experience. However, inside I didn't feel in tune with myself. My self-esteem, my confidence, everything seemed so fragile. I was 23 years old, I felt like I was suffocating in a body that I didn't choose. The acne came back in force, and now the spots were painful. They woke me up at night, when I had my cheek on the pillow... I then tried to consult a Chinese medicine therapist, who explained to my great dismay that he couldn't do anything for me except re-prescribe Roaccutane. It was very difficult to swallow, I didn't expect it at all. I experienced this 2th treatment much more difficult than 1er : the doses are too strong and I have a lot of eczema on my arms. But there again, the spots go away very quickly… To come back 6 months later after stopping the treatment, like the first time! I then decide to consult a magnetizer who is recommended to me, she soothes me a lot and magically removes entire patches. At the same time, I start personal work, I consult a kinesiologist, a naturopath, I undertake a meditative journey in the Moroccan desert… I do energy treatments, I start meditation, yoga… I decide to make peace with myself and learn to love myself, with my shadows and my lights.
Today, it's been 7 years since I last had a "crisis", and at the same time it also corresponds to this whole period of journey, of deep reconnection with the person I am. I thank my skin for pushing me to go and meet my deep self.
Today, I am filled with gratitude to see my skin so beautiful despite all the storms it has been through. I continue to take care of it, I pamper it with natural products, I do not attack it, and I send it messages of love when I meet its gaze in the mirror.
This article is about my experience, what worked for me may not work for someone else. 😉